New mentoring program at Yasuhara Middle School helps girls ‘work through it in this space’

Affirmations can correct negative words, said Kydashia Tensley, a Yasuhara Middle School sixth-grader. She recently finished a 20-week mentoring program called Ladies Investing in Noble Character.

“With affirmations, you’re correcting ugly into beautiful,” added Tensley, who cited a favorite affirmation at a program graduation, “You are brave.”

Classmate Da’Sandra Glaser, 11, said she learned more about when anger isn’t OK, and how people might show rage because of underlying stress or other issues.

“My grades when the group first started were really bad,” Glaser said. “Now, my grades have gotten better. My attitude has gotten way better since I’ve been in the group. Overall, they’ve helped me in school and told me what’s OK and sometimes what’s not OK.”

This is the first year that mentors have run the program for girls in Spokane Public Schools. They worked with students on social-behavioral skills, anger management, goal-setting and root causes of anger.

Starting November at Yasuhara, it included weekly support group meetings with seven girls and four female adult mentors, as well as one-on-one sessions with a mentor. About 12 boys at the middle school also met separately with male mentors in a parallel program, “You Mad Bro? – Young Men Achieving Destiny.”

The curriculum for both was created by Spokane pastor Shon Davis, who first developed the mentoring approach as an after-school program about 15 years ago.

Davis’ early outreach grew out of Mentoring Today’s Youth, a nonprofit at his church. First doing gang intervention work in California, Davis has worked with at-risk youth since moving to Spokane in 1995. He said the district asked him about eight years ago to develop a similar school-based program after the successes of the nonprofit sessions.

“The main theme is creating a safe and trusting environment to be able to be comfortable enough to talk about what provokes their anger and what are their triggers, because they’re expressing it in the schools at the point they’ve already been triggered,” Davis said.

“ ‘You Mad Bro?’ deals with the root issues, and that’s where the ‘why’ comes in. A lot of times our youth in schools are being disciplined for what they did, but they don’t have that space where they can open up about why they did what they did,” he continued. “Then, from understanding the ‘why’ is where we can provide those supports around them and their families.”

Davis works as a student and family engagement liaison and mentor supervisor in the school district’s Family & Community Engagement department.

The support group brings shared experiences and learning, he said, but there are also chances to open up.

“We do one-on-one with our students because now that gives them an opportunity to go a little deeper than in the group, where they may not be as comfortable sharing in front of everybody else because sometimes it can get personal – not having a father in their life or drug issues going on – so it gets real personal for them,” Davis said. “That’s where they can be more transparent.”

Davis said the boys program has rotated to different middle and high schools. Last year, it was at Shadle Park High School. But leaders saw a need for a parallel girls program at Yasuhara, as leaders started to see more trauma and insecurities among young girls, “causing them to make bad choices,” Davis said.

“That need is what drove us to say we need a girls group here at Yasuhara instead of just doing one for the boys,” he said. “We recognized that our girls need a safe space for them to be able to talk about and address a lot of the issues they’re dealing with.”

Davis said he agrees with recent health surveys indicating higher levels of sadness, depression and mental health needs among girls after the COVID-19 pandemic.

Some students being mentored are still grieving the death of a key relative, such as a grandparent, he said.

“They don’t have a safe space to grieve, and from there, any little thing can trigger, and now they’re exploding and now they’re in trouble.”

The students in both programs were referred by a counselor or principal because of prior disruptive behavior, he said.

In support groups, students and mentors talk through scenarios, do role-playing and take time to consider different outcomes if they react differently, and perhaps also use breathing skills before responding.

“We teach them how to identify the signs, the triggers, what are the signs of it even before you’re triggered?” Davis said.

Rachel Dannen, a Family & Community Engagement school community specialist, was one of the female facilitators for the girls. She said the support group followed a similar structure to the boys curriculum.

“When we first started the group, it would be like every other week someone wasn’t coming because the group decided that person was out. We’ve gotten to the point where that isn’t happening anymore and they’re comfortable coming even if they do have some hard feelings, and they’re able to work through it in this space.”

The facilitators decided to abolish any gossip during group meetings, meaning that if one girl didn’t show up, the rest wouldn’t talk negatively about her. The next time, the group would work on talking through any issues.

The moments were often short-lived, and the facilitators helped them discover ways to make amends.

Dannen said it took time to build trust, but she’s seen growth among the girls with improved grades, participation at school and tools to work through frustration or anger.

“A lot of these girls have gone through a lot of loss and tough situations in their lives,” Dannen said. “We’re just trying to be there for them and help them figure out, how do you begin to process all that and then be able to function and continue living and not let that get in the way of growth?

“Some of the girls definitely came in very much afraid of that change.”

The students’ behavioral outbursts were coming from somewhere, Davis said.

“The kids a lot of times have admitted no one really took the time to listen to them, to understand why they did what they did.”

The support groups have built community, he said.

“They don’t feel alone.”