Huckleberries: A marriage that can survive early hickeys has clout

Few marriage manuals talk about hickeys. And there’s probably a good reason for that.

But a how-to manual by new Kootenai County Commissioner Bob Bingham and his wife, Paige, mentions hickeys right off. In the introduction.

In 2010, after more than 30 years of a good marriage, Bob and Paige were transparent and confident enough in their life together to publish a how-to manual on the institution: “Marriage: Building It to Last” (available for $21.99 at the Sower bookstore, Coeur d’Alene).

The matter of hickeys surfaced shortly after they married. Paige tells how Bob attempted to give her hickeys (“you know – you suck hard on the neck, leaving a blood mark”).

Bob explained to her that hickeys were one way a man marked his territory. So other men would know his wife was off-limits. Bob told his sweetheart that he would have to give her a hickey or pee on her. But Paige wasn’t buying any of it. After looking at Bob in disbelief, she shouted, “You dork! What do you think this wedding ring I’m wearing means to all those other men?”

A couple who can survive an early onset of hickeys likely has something to say to others.

Not forgotten

Facebook keeps announcing Mike Anderson’s birthday, on May 16 – and well-wishers keep responding, even though the former Kootenai County commissioner has been gone for a while now.

However, it does bring to mind Mike’s 1992 Democratic primary race for commissioner against incumbent Bob Haakenson. Mike’s residence was an issue. Bob claimed that Mike was living in two places to meet candidate residency requirements.

So I drove up the alley of one of those two places after dark to check it out. Mike’s pickup was parked in the alley with big political signs attached to the racks. He was legit. Later, as I walked in the door of my house, the phone rang. It was Mike. Somehow, the former cop had spotted the license plate on my VW Rabbit and called it in to see who was snooping around his yard. I’m glad he didn’t shoot.

Anderson went on to win that primary and the general election and to serve a two-year term. He is the last Democrat to hold a Kootenai County commissioner seat.

Huckleberries

Poet’s Corner: Please do not disparage us/ Because we like asparagus./ It’s best if free/ And affects our pee/ But not enough to scare us much – John Austin of Medimont (“Ode to Asparagus”) … A Huckleberry Friend downplays reports that 50 percent of registered voters in Idaho are Republicans. After all, he says, he’s a “Clothes-Pin Republican,” a voter who registers Republican in order to participate in meaningful primary elections, but has to hold his nose to do so … Gail Curless has named her molar “Troll” for good reason. Quoth Gail: “Even after a root canal, it hangs onto my bridge and bites me” … Police Scanner Traffic Friday: Rathdrum caller reports neighbor shooting cannon, causing his house to shake. And the motto here? I’ll give you my cannon when you take it from my cold, dead hands.

Parting shot

The Kootenai County Sheriff’s Office knows when it has a hit on its hands. On Saturday, June 24, Sheriff Ben Wolfinger will offer an eighth class on how to survive an active shooting event. Eight classes. That’s quite a commentary on our hazardous times today, even in relatively crime-free North Idaho.

You can contact D.F. “Dave” Oliveria at 509-319-0354 or daveo@spokesman.com.