Reply usually baffles gossipers

While I’m away, readers give the advice.

On people you know are talking trash about you: When someone wants to share a third party’s juicy/hurtful/critical comments about me, I like to reply, “Her opinion of me is none of my business.” Stops ’em dead, and I love the expression on her face as she tries to sort out what I said. – J.

On pouting over a birthday:

I used to give my mother and sister flowers on my birthday. My mother gave me the life whose anniversary we were all noting, and my sister was a much-loved part of that life, so it seemed only fitting to thank them for this priceless gift.

Now that Mom is gone and my sister is too ill to celebrate, I take friends out to lunch on my dime. I don’t tell them it’s my birthday, just that I’d like to have them join me.

Without these people and their gift of friendship, my life would be dreary. Why not let them know that? If only people could accept that the world doesn’t revolve around and because of them. – C.

On “deadbeat dads”:

This phrase always makes me cringe. My husband and his kids were the victims of a campaign of parental alienation by his ex, wherein he was portrayed to the children as a “deadbeat dad,” violent, alcoholic and on and on, NONE of which was true. He paid every penny of his enormous child-support obligation and tried desperately to stay close to the kids. Even adult kids need to be sure they have real proof or real memories of abuse or problems, not ideas planted by a disturbed and obsessed alienator. – P.