The Slice: Wondering why you were snubbed?

It’s always good to be familiar with the ground rules.

So here are the Top 25 possible reasons why your submission to The Slice never appeared in print.

1. You didn’t identify yourself by your full name or you failed to provide a daytime phone number.

2. Your observation about life in the Spokane area has been made by other contributors every year since 1992.

3. Your submission was good but it arrived at a time when I already had too much in the hopper.

4. It appears that you are out of your mind.

5. You dared me to use it.

6. I made a bad call. I should have printed it.

7. Your suggested item might have hurt someone’s feelings unnecessarily.

8. It was too long to be condensed.

9. Subject matter more suitable to some other part of the paper.

10. I accidentally deleted your e-mail or phone message.

11. Other people’s grandchildren have better material.

12. I used something from you just last month.

13. I had no idea what you were talking about.

14. Didn’t like your attitude.

15. It was time-sensitive and would have been outdated (each Slice column is written several days before it appears).

16. Your submission arrived after I had decided to conclude a certain multi-day discussion.

17. Your e-mail got snagged by the spam filter and I never saw it.

18. I had doubts about the originality of your observation or anecdote.

19. You failed to respond to my follow-up questions.

20. I am not a licensed therapist.

21. Though I know you were telling the truth, I worried that some readers wouldn’t believe your story.

22. You have mistaken me for the late L.M. Boyd.

23. I kept thinking I would get around to using it, but that day never came.

24. It got buried in one of my Stacks o’ Doom.

25. We disagree about what is or isn’t interesting, but I still think you’re a peach.

Today’s Slice questions: How do you observe the start of Dry Skin/Itching Season? What about Wooden Fingers Season?