Kids’ birthday parties gone too far

Birthdays weren’t such a big deal when I was a kid.

Sure, my parents got me a little something special when my day rolled around. Mom usually made a cake. Sometimes we’d get to go to Pizza Hut, where my brother and I played Pac-Man excessively while waiting for the pie.

Every now and then – mostly on milestone birthdays, say, hitting the big 5 – there’d be a party.

On such monumental occasions, family members would descend on our home – cousins running amok, uncles drinking Labatt while watching hockey or football, aunts cooking and chit-chatting in the kitchen.

We’d unwrap a bunch of stuff – small things like coloring books, handmade mittens, new pajamas – and that was the end of it.

Mostly, it was fun just being together, playing, eating, laughing, making a giant mess.

How times have changed.

In the toddlerland of today, birthdays are cause for massive celebration, complete with decorations, matching plates, and yes, even entertainers. It’s not uncommon for a preschooler’s parents to spend hundreds of bucks renting inflatable bounce houses and throwing elaborate parties to which all of the child’s closest three dozen friends and relatives are invited.

At a party we attended for a 4-year-old, Barney, the purple dinosaur, paid a visit. I have no idea how much you’d have to pay a person to dress up in a giant dinosaur costume and talk like a complete goofball – “Super-deee-duper!” – but it can’t be cheap.

But kids have come to expect that when their birthdays come around, there will be nothing less. And when all their friends are having parties that would put the North American International Auto Show Charity Preview to shame, why wouldn’t they?

It’s so out of control that gift registries for children’s birthday parties have started springing up. Giftregistryforkids.com claims to be the “answer to gift giving for the children in your life.” Ummm, what happened to being thoughtful and creative and giving something from the heart? Toys ‘R’ Us offers “wish lists,” which clearly aren’t a ploy to avoid offending people who are put off by the notion that kids can actually register for their own birthday gifts. Really they aren’t. Have we gone too far yet, people?

My soon-to-be 5-year-old has been chattering about her upcoming birthday for months.

I kept telling her that we didn’t need a theme. Maybe we’d do something small. Maybe we could have just a few kids over. Or maybe she could have her first sleepover with one or two other girls. Perfectly reasonable.

She looked teary-eyed as I explained that we can’t have a huge party every single year.

After heavy negotiations, we agreed that she’d be able to pick a couple of friends and we’d have a small party with pizza and cake at the place where she does gymnastics.

And yet, as it was coming together, we decided that if we’re going to invite a couple of her friends from school, we had to invite them all. It’s the right thing to do. So now, invitations have gone out to more than 20 kids – all the girls from school, plus the kids of some close family friends.

Here we go.

Does anyone know what Taylor Swift charges for party appearances?