Story-memories keep us young, no matter our age

Editor’s note: This is one in an occasional series of letters by columnist Paul Graves to his grandchildren.

Dear Katie, Claire and Andy,

This letter is mostly for Katie. But I hope you two, Claire and Andy, will find something of value here too.

Well, Katie, your long wait to be a teenager will be over in 10 days. Your 13th birthday is a special milestone in your life, isn’t it?

I hope it isn’t also a millstone for you, for Claire and Andy, and for your parents. But I suspect you will experience the outrageous traumas of being a teen like everyone else has done.

Just a week ago, I experienced a milestone event of my own. It was on the opposite end of the age-scale from your special moment: Your grandma and I attended my 50th high school class reunion.

So let’s talk about aging together, Katie.

About a month ago, I asked you what you thought turning 13 would be like. You mentioned a few things, but then spouted an old cliché I didn’t expect from a near-teenager: “You’re only young once.”

If you recall, I surprised you when I said, “No, Katie, that isn’t really true.”

“Why, Grampa?” you asked. I spoke of older people who stand in front of a mirror, look at their gray hair or wrinkles, but see beyond that image to the young person they still believe they are in mind and heart.

When memories and hopes are still young and fresh, Katie, so are we, regardless of our ages.

That was certainly true for me last week. I had a wonderful time with classmates I’ve known since high school, and some as long ago as first grade. I have actually known one classmate since we were 3 years old.

We shared memories of living in Kellogg and of school activities (and pranks). We asked “Do you remember when …?” often as we talked with each other.

But not all of the stories we shared were just about our school days. We also asked each other about life after high school. We wanted to know about families, about work, and significant happenings since high school.

Without saying it directly, we knew that our lives did not end at high school graduation. So even if our friends’ memories didn’t include us directly in the last 50 years, those story-memories were important to hear simply because they belonged to our friends.

Katie, Claire and Andy, there is a very, very old Jewish saying I’d like you to remember. It begins with a question: “Why did God make people? Because God loves stories.”

I shared that at our reunion, because I wanted my longtime friends to remember that however important our stories are to us, they are also important to the God who created us.

It seems like the most important memories we keep alive come back in the form of stories. Some stories are joyful, some are filled with deep sadness, some are very exciting and others are very ordinary. But they are our stories.

They describe who we are, and help remind us how we became who we are at this moment.

Katie, you are 10 days short of 13. You have some very special stories to remember from your first 13 years. You will create many more special stories as long as you live.

I still create special stories at 68, and will until I die. That’s one of the gifts of being human.

You can be young forever, Katie. However old you are at any given moment, when you let your story-memories refresh your spirit, you are forever young.