The Slice Telling Frosty Tales? Chill Out
If you are one of those people who like to scare newcomers from balmy climates with chilling stories about our ferocious winters, we have one thing to say: Knock it off.
Here’s why.
1. It’s mean.
2. You know you are exaggerating.
3. And the “I’m so hardy and rugged because I live in studded-tires country” act gets old.
Face it. Quite a few northern tier cities have rougher winters than ours. Well, usually anyway.
Of course, newcomers do have one thing to fear - being blamed for all of this area’s boneheaded winter driving despite that being a mathematical impossibility.
Here’s one use of a cell phone we can approve: A woman we know was driving on Interstate 90 when a group of young men in a nearby vehicle held up an inflatable doll shaped like a woman. They proceeded to suggest various lewd acts with the doll.
Our friend zipped her car into a spot behind these lunkheads where she could see the license plate and immediately called the state patrol. The brave boys saw her on the phone. They quickly exited the freeway.
Tough love: Bonnie Alberts’ daughter was excited about learning that she had been preapproved for a Sterling Savings Visa card. But seeing as how she is only 9, her mom told her she couldn’t send off for it.
How to become an outcast in the Inland Northwest in one easy step: Readers said all it takes is publicly admitting that you don’t care about golf. Or skiing. Or Seattle sports teams. Or Christianity. Or the Spokane Chiefs. Or garage sales. Or Bloomsday.
Those things grow on trees, you know: Thanks to the readers who have submitted early entries in The Slice’s Best Leaves of Autumn Contest. The deadline is Oct. 29.
Here’s a tip: If you are going to tout your restaurant’s dessert special on a big sign, don’t spell it “desert.”
Trend alert: The movie “Always” was filmed in the Inland Northwest. Then “Love Always” was made here.
What’s next? Feel free to come up with your own three-word movie title. We would do it for you, but the lameness of this item is quickly becoming apparent.
Warm-up question: How do you feel about your spouse or significant other reaching across and honking at bad drivers while you are at the wheel?
Today’s Slice question: Who are the Inland Northwest’s top movers and shakers under the age of 6?
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing
MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Try to say “Cathedral of Our Lady of Lourdes” five times fast.